Is that Turkey horny?
It’s an age-old question that all of us ponder but only a select few can answer. Of course, I assume you need to know for your single friend who’s a turkey and wants to hook up because, and I cannot stress this enough, you should not be having sex with turkeys. Anyway, look at the turkey in question.
What color is his face? What is he doing? Is he single?
A turkey’s face and neck are like a mood ring so you can guess how he’s feeling based on the color. Blue means he’s probably pretty happy or is just looking to have a quiet evening in. Red can mean that he’s either ready to bone or do whatever it takes to do so, including fight to the death. It could even be white and god help you if it is. But none of that’s not helpful with the graphic above. Something else your turkey might be doing is strutting. If you’re not sure what that looks like check out a fluffed up male pigeon around a female pigeon. Also, the turkey could even be singing.
And it really doesn’t matter if he’s single cause male turkeys, Toms, tend to get around. Also, male teenage turkeys are called jakes, Jake.
Why are Turkeys so ugly?
Can Turkeys drive?
No. And while it seems like they want to drive postal trucks, station wagons, and school buses – they’re incapable of doing so. I mean, how would they even steer? Their feet would never reach the gas pedal!
Turkeys chase cars because in general they will chase anything. Wild turkeys seem especially irritable and will attack most anything without the slightest provocation (other than raging hormones, of course).
Which ancient Aztec god is most like a Turkey?
Isn’t it a little Jacked Up how we think Turkeys enjoy being murdered?
Yes, it is. I can’t think of another holiday where the main course is so prominently printed all over the tableware and greeting cards. The mascot is often spotted looking scared or slightly wary at the thought of Thanksgiving even though if they knew what was really coming, they’d be white with vengeful rage.
So, why is it we anthropomorphise turkeys, giving them hats, monocles, feelings and language to make them more human? Do we want to eat ourselves?
Maybe. But more likely, humans are just a very homocentric bunch. For a long time (let’s extend that into nowadays), people believed that a world was built for them alone and everything around was there to serve em. What more could a turkey want than to serve his purpose? God didn’t put it there waste away in some mountain, obviously.
What is the deal with that Turkey Door in The Nightmare Before Christmas?
I have no beef with the Valentine’s and St Patrick’s trees. I assume in Valentinesville, there are cherubic cupids floating around making cards, heart-shaped arrows tipped with a love-inducing poison, and those nasty message heart candies that no one seems to like. In St. Patrickstown, they are brewing beer because all that extra beer has to come from SOMEwhere, right? Maybe they’re making Shamrocks, too, since it’s the door’s symbol.
There’s a reason there was no “Nightmare Before Thanksgiving” – Thanksgiving town was already a nightmare and I suspect would have given Jack Skellington a run for his money.
Maybe Tim Burton and Eli Roth could work something out…?
Side Note: I don’t know what to think of Independence Day Town. Are they making firecrackers and miniature American flags or ugly July 4th cakes? What’s the deal?