On the 10th day of Christmas, My True Love Gave To Me: Lords of the Animals

It’s another edition of

Kristin’s Gloriously Masterful Interpretation of the 12 Days of Christmas™!

It’s Matt™!

Lords. A. Leaping.

While it evokes quite a picture, especially after a bunch of somewhat humdrum and strange birds (including maids and ladies [if you’re from one of those countries that calls ladies birds]) and rings, I didn’t know what to do for this one.  I looked at it from every angle I could, tried every trick I could find, and finally came to the conclusion that, despite my milking advice (never google anything ever) I would use a google search.

However, mostly, I just got the song.  But since we are an animal blog, I wondered what the lords of the animals were.  So I googled it.  I googled it long and hard.  And as the first result, I got this Wikipedia page.

Well, well, well, I said, I could do with some good old fashioned Wikipedia research.  And since there is only one way to present gods as comprehensible to men, I will present the Lords of The Animals the only way anyone knows how.  Magic Cards.

Cancel! You countered my seven/seven behemoth for three mana?! I'm never playing this game again!


Regal Force

Horns. Check. God. Check. Works for me.

So, the horned god Cernunnos, not to be confused with the modern god CERN (science joke, coming in), is not actually well known.  As a green creature, he is mostly associated with the forces of life and rebirth.  If anyone plays magic, you’ll know that means that you have a ton of creatures to deal with.  This card, using it’s ability, could concievably outdraw your deck, so you need to use it carefully, however, with good planning, it could be a good setup for an end game, by allowing you to get overwhelming force.  5/5 isn’t bad either.

Not much is actually known about this god, as the wikipedia will attest, but there are many examples out there of it.  It seems to be associated with life, animals, and maybe even commerce.  Which are three things that are linked in my mind, because for my life, I write about animals, at the job that I am not doing right now.  Maybe old Cernunnos was on to something.

Herne the Hunter

Multicolored creatures. So potentially useful, so hard to play.

Herne is a god of the hunt.  He has a mount, owls, and hunting dogs.  He hunts things.  I used this Magic Card, because it had a guy on a horse.  Eat it, accuracy.

2/2 is a little low for a four mana multicolored creature, but if you had the maximum of four in the deck, and you were able to play all of them, you’d have four 8/8 creatures.  Which would be somewhat brutal to defend against.  I never had much success with multi-colored decks, but I never really had much success at all, come to think of it.

The Wild Hunt

Black always has the coolest art.

The Wild Hunt is probably not actually a black thing, but since I am trying to at least represent each color in this post, I figure that we should include black here.  Perish is a great card, if you are going against green, or if you really need to discard cards to do damage against any other color.  Three mana and you take away all of a green deck’s creatures for at least a turn? Sounds good to me.

The Wild Hunt is lead by various royalty, fairies or gods, and results in the complete destruction of the hunted.  Brutal? Yes.  But also, brutal.  If you are ever hunted by the Wild Hunt, you’re going to die.  Speaking of which…



Fairies, the fae, the fair folk, Tinkerbell.  They are known by many names, reside in the wild, don’t give much of a crap about mortals, and are generally considered to be badass tricksters.  They are more of a wild creature than a lord of the animals, but I had to include them, didn’t I?  Or they would torture me or something.

Blue was always brutal to me.  But I hate counters.  So I hate blue decks.  Too much sorcery, not enough brutality.

Nemean Lion

I know, it's a cougar.

I know, I know.  Anyway, sometimes, a lord of the hunt just doesn’t hunt what you expect.  The Nemian Lion, best remembered for being the first labor of Hercules, and it’s incredibly resistant skin, actually hunted people, by taking their women, and drawing them in.  It was bad ass.  Then Hercules killed it, and wore it’s skin as armor, which is also bad ass.

Thus, we end some of the Animal Lords.  I hope you enjoyed it.  Because googling magic cards was somewhat annoying.


One comment on “On the 10th day of Christmas, My True Love Gave To Me: Lords of the Animals

  1. Pingback: 12 Days of Christmas, Animal Edition | Animal News, The Podcast

Animal News: The Podcast wants to hear from you! IN THIS BOX!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s