Tabloid Thursday: Gorilla Buffalos Buffalo Zoo

Well, the “Mainstream Media” has done it again. First they hide footage that shows 9/11 was an inside job, then they blackout news about Republican front runner Ron Paul and now they are reporting that a gorilla didn’t escape the Buffalo Zoo. According to CBS, although it did bite a keeper and leave its cage “the gorilla never left the ‘secure non-public area behind’ the exhibit.”

But the Weekly World News has the real story. And the way they tell it, the breakout was carefully orchestrated and Koga the gorilla was at large on the streets of Buffalo for five hours before he was brought down by a “barrage of blow darts” from a SWAT team. Now that sounds like just the stuff for Tabloid Thursday!

It seems that a door was left unlocked and Koga simply walked out of his enclosure into the secure area behind it. There he was startled by a zookeeper and bit her. Here is where the accounts differ. Most reports claim that the gorilla was sedated by a veterinarian while still locked inside the zoo, away from the public. According to Weekly World News, however, Koga hid in a large drain pipe before making his way into the city and and causing havoc.

This photo from Weekly World News is clearly not photoshopped, I can tell by the pixels.

But that’s not all the “Lamestream Media” is covering up. Care to guess what Koga was doing whilst running about the streets of Buffalo? He was “apparently singing nursery rhymes at the top of his lungs.” That’s right, folks, this story is being suppressed because we aren’t supposed to know that the Buffalo Zoo’s is working on a super-intelligent, singing gorilla program (presumably for the CIA.)

Of course this picture of Koga looks suspiciously like the picture of Koga in the city; it's the same gorilla. It would be suspicious if it didn't look the same.

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