PODCAST: Hate Us Cause They Anus, Personhood Judge, and Don’t Cats


What’s up, Animal Lovers (no beastiality)?

We got your year in review right here, what with Jake being the Jerk that lives in a different part of the country, this countries terrible intercity travel, and the fact that we all might actually have lives… or whatever.

I mean, Matt doesn’t have a life, but that’s beside the point.

But what does that mean for you?  Well, that means that you get to listen to a new podcast, with special guest who I think literally said nothing, Marianna.

Much love to you, hope you enjoy, and make a clamor if you want to hear more.

PODCAST: Happy New Year (Western not Lunar), Alligator Robbery, and the Uprising of the Lizards


What day is it? Why it is New Years Day, Sir! Then it is not too late! IT’S NOT TOO LATE!  Why am I doing a Scrooge about a new podcast?  Because I should have put this up yesterday, but I was too busy getting my drink on.

In this podcast, we discuss lots of stuff, drink a couple of beers, and even talk about why we didn’t have lots of podcasts this year!  It’s like a Christmas-y miracle, but more boring and less miraculous!

I’m just sitting here, waiting for this thing to stop processing so I can post this, and trying to think up clever things to say.  It’s not working.  Does anybody know a song?  Just whatever you can belt out.  Near, far, wherever you are, I believe that my heart will go onnnnnnnnnnnn!

Enjoy!

PODCAST: Pretending to be Professional, Can We Talk About Plants, and Elephant Language


We’re here, we’re recorded, get used to it.

PODCAST: Flea Circus Genocide, Momterruption, and We’re Back (vaguely)


Your favorite podcast is back, with more swearing, more genocide and more tapping upon the abdomen of your mate to find the reproductive organs to dunk your webbed ball of sperm inside. You’ll get it when you hear the cast.

Also, if anyone has heard from Brendan Johnston, it seems that he may have died in the middle of this comment. “You guys havent stopped the podcast have”. If you have any news, please write us at thisisnotarealemailaddress.forrealitsnot@notreal.com. Thanks.

Podcast: Closer to the Rhino, Closer to the Skin, and Closer to Chimp Porn


We’re getting our ribs crushed by Rhinos, making pubic lice extinct, watching porn with chimps, python challenge update, and of course, an anti-plug, don’t do it.

This is so late, because Matt is a boner.

Podcast: Aquarium Heists, Tupac the Guard Caiman, and Cat Interrogations


You know what time it is?  It’s time for ANTP.  Today, we’ve got animals guarding things, animals being stolen, and an animal breaking into jail.  Listen!

Also, we just hit 25,000 views on wordpress.  Thank you all so much for reading, and we hope to get another 25,000!

Link

WTF Evolution is Pretty Awesome

Man, Jake just suggested a site today, so I decided to suggest another one.  WTF Evolution is pretty funny, and good stuff.  Check it out!

“So I was thinking.”

“Great, evolution.”

“Nobody really needs eyeballs and limbs and all that, right? When you get down to it, all you really needto be alive is an opening for stuff to go in and an opening for stuff to come out.”

“Well, yeah, I guess so.”

“I might try making things that way for a few million years. ‘Sea cucumbers’ and the like.”

“Okay, but it’s not just going to be, like, a tube with a mouth and an anus, is it? That sounds a little crass.”

“What if I made it pink?”

“I don’t know…”

“Oh, and also, it’s going to breathe through the butt end.”

– WTF Evolution

Podcast: Ball Brew, Python Challenge and The Circus … of Bribes


Animal News is providing you with some guidelines for hunting some snakes, taking money for testifying and of course, drinking testicular beer. All this and more, on ANIMAL NEWS: THE PODCAST, IN SPACCCCCCCCE!

Podcast: Peeing on Frogs, Bird Head Pulltabs, and Chicken Saviors


We’re talking about plagues, insane people, chickens yelling.  You know, the usual.

Podcast: Calling All Slug Experts, Virgin Births, and Droppin’ Possums from Buildings


Listen up!