Tuesday Video Lunch: Predatory Snails and The Hermit Crab Housing Market


Pop quiz! What do snails eat? The answer is: Video Lunch!

In actual fact, it’s not that simple. There are three primary groups of snails: land snails, sea snails and freshwater snails. Many a gardener will tell you that terrestrial snails are mostly herbivorous and particularly like fresh seedlings. Luckily for gardeners, snails are also quite partial to beer, so traps baited with beer are quite effective against these slow pests.

Freshwater snails mostly eat algae. According to this diagram, the Center for Disease Control seems to think that freshwater snails also enjoy eating poop and parasite eggs. Gross. Parasite life-cycles are fascinating, but almost always involve poop.

Sea snails, like freshwater snails, are mostly interested in munching on algae and plants. However , there are several snails that are predatory. And it is a good thing too; if conchs weren’t wolfing down smaller snails, where would hermit crabs get new shells?

Deeraholics Anomalous


In a recent codpast, we discussed a couple of moose (a.k.a. elk) with drinking problems and heavily implied that a certain red-nosed reindeer (a.k.a. caribou) had a cocaine addiction.

History and photographic evidence tell us that we were right about the moose and booze:

Caught!

The cocaine claim was, however, somewhat dubious. A quick Google™ search turned up nothing about deer doing coke.

So Rudolph probably isn’t on blow. But that doesn’t mean he’d pass a drug test. A favorite food of reindeer is fly agaric, (a.k.a. “magic mushrooms.”) That’s right, reindeer eat hallucinogenic mushrooms. We aren’t sure if they experience any of the psychotropic effects that people do when we… er… they eat ‘shrooms, but we are sure of one thing: visions of flying reindeer delivering Christmas joy seems a bit spacey. Even the people at the BBC think so.

Pacific Northwest & Horses v. Human Dignity (Graphic Content)


This news post has photos of a graphic nature portraying a human being using a horse as a sleeping bag. This post is potentially NSFW, although that depends largely one where you work. If you want all of the story, but none of the wit or and all graphic images blurred, please visit The Daily Mail.

In a podcast earlier this year, we told you all about the death of Washington resident Kenneth Pinyan. If you can’t be bothered to listen, Mr. Pinyan came to internet fame by performing lewd acts on a horse and putting video of it on the internet under the name Mr. Hands. Do not look up these videos. Eventually, Mr. Pinyan suffered perforated colon and died from his injuries.

The State of Washington promptly made it a felony to have sex with an animal or to film somebody else having sex with an animal.

Now their neighbors to the south are upping the horse pervert ante. “I see your ‘man-killed-by-horse-inside-of-him’ and raise you “horse-killed-then-stuffed-with-naked-woman.” This sounds like a game that nobody can win.

A 5’6″, 119lb, 21-year-old blonde woman (whose name has not been released) and her boyfriend euthanized a horse. The horse was old and ailing and was put down with a single shot to the brain. So far, so good. Then they decided that they wanted to eat the horse. So they eviscerated the carcass. Then they got another idea.

They started posing for photos with the body. “Hey! Check out this awesome heart!” Still not too strange right? I mean, that is kinda cool. Horse hearts are pretty, pretty big. I wonder what it’s like to be a horse’s heart. Only one way to find out: get naked and crawl inside. Like so:

Gross! Get out of there!

The criminal investigation is over. The police have decided that there was no crime committed. The horse was put down humanely and after that, what they do with the carcass is really not a legal issue. Oh, and they reportedly did go on to eat some or all of the horse. Not surprisingly, it was delicious.

What is it about the Pacific Northwest that makes people want to put horses inside of themselves and vice versa? We may never know, but I suspect that it is one of those behavior modifying parasites that Kristin is so afraid of.

EDIT: The young lady seen above has been identified as Jasha Lottin. We considered not publishing her name for fear that her reputation would suffer and that she would pay too dearly for a simple (albeit bizarre) lapse in judgement. However, we have decided that she has killed her horse and now she must sleep in it.

Drunkeys


Hey, remember the alcoholic monkeys I mentioned on our last full codpast? Well, it looks like the BBC scooped us on that story. And made a sweet video about it. Enjoy!

Bee-ing Informed About Bees


Hey guys!

Matt here. I know we did a lot of buzz-worthy puns on the last podcast (Boom), but we mentioned some things in the podcast that you can watch on the internet.

First off, here is one of the most horrifyingly awesome things that you will ever see. Watch wasps murder the hell out of some bees. The hive is destroyed. To learn more about the wasps, here is the wikipedia.

To know more about the bee group hug of death, go here and look under supersedure. The bear hug of death is done so that they can replace the queen in her old age.

Of course, this being wikipedia, they have an article on the effects of toxic chemicals on bees. The first intoxicant that they list is, of course, alcohol.

Anyway, if you have more bee-search for us to add, please leave a comment. Also, please kill me so I can stop making these puns.