PODCAST: Happy New Year (Western not Lunar), Alligator Robbery, and the Uprising of the Lizards


What day is it? Why it is New Years Day, Sir! Then it is not too late! IT’S NOT TOO LATE!  Why am I doing a Scrooge about a new podcast?  Because I should have put this up yesterday, but I was too busy getting my drink on.

In this podcast, we discuss lots of stuff, drink a couple of beers, and even talk about why we didn’t have lots of podcasts this year!  It’s like a Christmas-y miracle, but more boring and less miraculous!

I’m just sitting here, waiting for this thing to stop processing so I can post this, and trying to think up clever things to say.  It’s not working.  Does anybody know a song?  Just whatever you can belt out.  Near, far, wherever you are, I believe that my heart will go onnnnnnnnnnnn!

Enjoy!

Podcast: Closer to the Rhino, Closer to the Skin, and Closer to Chimp Porn


We’re getting our ribs crushed by Rhinos, making pubic lice extinct, watching porn with chimps, python challenge update, and of course, an anti-plug, don’t do it.

This is so late, because Matt is a boner.

Podcast: Aquarium Heists, Tupac the Guard Caiman, and Cat Interrogations


You know what time it is?  It’s time for ANTP.  Today, we’ve got animals guarding things, animals being stolen, and an animal breaking into jail.  Listen!

Also, we just hit 25,000 views on wordpress.  Thank you all so much for reading, and we hope to get another 25,000!

Link

WTF Evolution is Pretty Awesome

Man, Jake just suggested a site today, so I decided to suggest another one.  WTF Evolution is pretty funny, and good stuff.  Check it out!

“So I was thinking.”

“Great, evolution.”

“Nobody really needs eyeballs and limbs and all that, right? When you get down to it, all you really needto be alive is an opening for stuff to go in and an opening for stuff to come out.”

“Well, yeah, I guess so.”

“I might try making things that way for a few million years. ‘Sea cucumbers’ and the like.”

“Okay, but it’s not just going to be, like, a tube with a mouth and an anus, is it? That sounds a little crass.”

“What if I made it pink?”

“I don’t know…”

“Oh, and also, it’s going to breathe through the butt end.”

– WTF Evolution

Podcast: Ball Brew, Python Challenge and The Circus … of Bribes


Animal News is providing you with some guidelines for hunting some snakes, taking money for testifying and of course, drinking testicular beer. All this and more, on ANIMAL NEWS: THE PODCAST, IN SPACCCCCCCCE!

Podcast: Peeing on Frogs, Bird Head Pulltabs, and Chicken Saviors


We’re talking about plagues, insane people, chickens yelling.  You know, the usual.

Podcast: Calling All Slug Experts, Virgin Births, and Droppin’ Possums from Buildings


Listen up!

Hyenas, Spider Balls, and Dinorexyia


 

Hey! It’s that time again, here comes Animal News: The Podcast.  Special thanks to Julie and Peter for sitting in! Jake is on Assignment in Korea, and we miss him dearly.  COME HOME JAKE! 

Tuesday Video Lungh: How? Convenient…


On your way home and feeling hungry? Why not stop at a vending machine and buy some Video Lunch?

Of course, not just any vending machine will do. After all, you had candy bars and soda pop for lunch yesterday, and you are watching your figure (expand.) If only there were a vending machine that sold healthy food items, like fresh seafood. Oh, wait. There totally is a vending machine that sells fresh seafood. Anybody hungry for crabs?

So the Chinese can now get their hairy crabs (grow up) in the subway. You have to admit, these machines “save many troubles.”

Of course, the Japanese are famous for their vending machines. You’ve probably heard that one can purchase umbrellas, eggs or even used underpants from vending machines in Japan. But when I heard that China had live crab vending machines, I thought that they had even outdone the Japanese. I was wrong.

As it turns out, selling live animals in vending machines is old news in Japan. There machines sell live rhinoceros beetles. They apparently make good pets and even better mini-gladiators. (Before you freak out about that, it seems that they don’t actually get hurt when they wrestle.)

They also have claw games. Lobster claw games. Not games with lobster claws, but claw games with live lobsters as the prizes. But there is something that you should know before you write a blog post about how crazy Asia is (I’m looking at you, mirror.) Lobster claw games can be found across the United States, from Maine to Vegas.

Birds Finally Get In On The Gif Game


Oh Yeah.

Harris's Sparrow Migration Pattern, or the dripping of Canada

In a link too cool not to post, ebirds.org has posted a bunch of migratory gifs for the US.  I just like how cool they look.  You should check them out.  Additionally, you should read the little stories that accompany them, which show the research that went into making these gifs, and what was revealed when they were made.  Very cool.  Thanks to io9 for the heads up.