Podcast: Denying Mermaids, Cee-Lo’s Cock…atoo, Lonesome George Isn’t Lonesome Any More


Rest In Peace, Lonesome George, may your journey be devoid of pesky tortoise chicks, full of god-fearing merpeople, and sprinkled with mangled feathers. Don’t worry because Chris’ friend’s obese cat will meet you in Animal Heaven shortly.

Sounds like a sadcast, but trust me it’s not.

 

 

Have an animal anecdote or shout out? Let us know and we will do it hard on the next codpast, people.

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Podcast: Bite Your Face Off, Koala STDs, and Bitey, the Catholic Dog


This week, we are talking about why koala’s don’t believe in safe sex. We also are discussing Urian, the dog that bit Pope. (Further research indicates that Cardinal Wolsey never actually went to Rome. Also, Urian was the name of Anne Boleyn’s dog, not Wolsey’s. But Wolsey was certainly born in this week in animal history.)

Friday Night Creature Feature: Snow Dogs


Oh no. Oh No. No. NO. NO!!!!

Oh God. What is it?

And then, I thought to myself.  Well, if you’re going to do Iron Will one week, you’re going to have to do Snow Dogs the next.  Snow Dogs, the critically reviled and insane movie about dogs, snow, and presumably slapstick comedy by Cuba Gooding Jr.  Cuba Gooding Junior is an actor who has actually won awards for his acting.  He has participated in movies where his skills were considered some of the most moving and powerful parts.  He was the only likable character in Pearl Harbor, a movie that I would not subject my worst enemies to, and was pretty darn good in that movie about the Navy Diver Jackie Robinson Guy (Further research indicates that the movie was called Men Of Honor and the story was based on Carl Brashear. Even further reasearch indicates that Carl Brashear is related to Donald Brashear, Ex-Cap and Awesome Hockey Player.  I might even watch Men of Honor again.).  Also, his catch phrase, “Show me the money” and previous and subsequent acting in Jerry Maguire got him an Oscar nod, for Best Supporting Actor.  He also studied Japanese Martial Arts for three years after graduating high school.

So, why have I listed these accomplishments in such a deranged fashion?  Well, let’s take a look over here, on the big board.

For those of you keeping score at home, Mr. Gooding’s character was introduced ninth. After Nana. And Demon. Also, there is at least one pun (I couldn’t bring myself to listen to the narration after the first one) and I’ve literally had to take a break three times in the middle of watching the trailer to stop my eyes from strangling me with my own optic nerve.

So, why is this my Creature Feature?  Because it has Huskies (and a Boarder Collie) in it.  I don’t suggest you watch it, but I’m going to watch it and write up some hundreds of words about it.  Perhaps I won’t claw my eyes out at the end of it. Perhaps I will.  We just don’t know.

Okay, I’m done.  I’ll list three good things, and I will refrain from listing any bad things.

First:  Nichelle Nichols was in this movie.  Better known as Uhura from the original Star Trek.  It was fun seeing her again, and she is a super babe.

Second:  The love interest, whatever her name is, is a complete babe.  She was a good actor, given the material, and was the babe-i-est babe in the movie, even more than Nichelle.

Third: Sisqo is barely in the movie.

It is filled with the kind of overacting that you expect in children’s movies.  The dogs are interesting looking, but they keep “augmenting” them to make them look mischevious or threatening, as opposed to just allowing the dogs to look like dogs.  CGI plus dogs looks even weirder than you think.

Otherwise, it is pretty much a normal “find out who I am” movie.  So, don’t watch it. Ever.

Ugh, I’ve wasted my life.

Matt

Podcast: Robbie on Romney, Shatner’s Gorilla Bad Touch, and Future Zoos, OF THE FUTURE!


Animal News: The Podcast is ready to go.  Are you?

Thanks to guest correspondent Robbie!

This is Koko signing either shame or pink. We'll let you decide.

NEWS: Chances Are, Pets Are Fat and Not ‘Fluffy’


As a surprise to absolutely no one, the Association for Pet Obesity Prevention (APOP) recently found that (along with Americans themselves, it seems) American pets are getting fatter. Somehow, pet owners accept that pets as a whole are getting fatter but can’t really admit it when it comes to their own.

"No, I don't think your cat super glued a fat suit onto itself"

When 22% of dog owners and 15% of cat owners were asked about their pet’s weight, they thought nothing of it when really the animals were obese or overweight. If you don’t believe me, check out this intervention style reality show, Project Pet Slim Down, and the choice moments when the owners find out just how morbidly obese their animals are.

"Hey! It's not like I'm force feeding her the Big Macs"

How could this have happened? Fortunately, APOP and some other sources have lent us some perspective in this matter:

Pig’s Ears are 182 calories an ear

Milkbones range from 10 to 225 calories depending on the size.

An egg, an apple and a slice of bacon  are each around 80 calories.

Pretty meh for people. But for a 10 pound animal whose daily intake should be about 220 calories? It’s a very big deal. But Kristin! A Snausage or Beggin Strip is only 30 calories. Yes, and potato chips are only 11 calories each! How many pets are really just getting one treat a day? (Put your hand down, mom. I know the truth.)

It's as if they were literally raining down from Kitty Heaven.

Damn. This is serious. As funny as those obese doggy and kitty photos are, I really can’t make light of this grave situation.

However, since the study did not cover other pets, I will post other obese pets here presumably to teach everyone a valuable lesson about weight management.

         

Podcast: Dogs… In… Space…, Pet Costumes, And Halloween (Oh Yeah, and Mark Wahlberg)


Happy Halloween, Manimals!

Matt