PODCAST: Happy New Year (Western not Lunar), Alligator Robbery, and the Uprising of the Lizards

What day is it? Why it is New Years Day, Sir! Then it is not too late! IT’S NOT TOO LATE!  Why am I doing a Scrooge about a new podcast?  Because I should have put this up yesterday, but I was too busy getting my drink on.

In this podcast, we discuss lots of stuff, drink a couple of beers, and even talk about why we didn’t have lots of podcasts this year!  It’s like a Christmas-y miracle, but more boring and less miraculous!

I’m just sitting here, waiting for this thing to stop processing so I can post this, and trying to think up clever things to say.  It’s not working.  Does anybody know a song?  Just whatever you can belt out.  Near, far, wherever you are, I believe that my heart will go onnnnnnnnnnnn!



PODCAST: Flea Circus Genocide, Momterruption, and We’re Back (vaguely)

Your favorite podcast is back, with more swearing, more genocide and more tapping upon the abdomen of your mate to find the reproductive organs to dunk your webbed ball of sperm inside. You’ll get it when you hear the cast.

Also, if anyone has heard from Brendan Johnston, it seems that he may have died in the middle of this comment. “You guys havent stopped the podcast have”. If you have any news, please write us at thisisnotarealemailaddress.forrealitsnot@notreal.com. Thanks.

Podcast: Closer to the Rhino, Closer to the Skin, and Closer to Chimp Porn

We’re getting our ribs crushed by Rhinos, making pubic lice extinct, watching porn with chimps, python challenge update, and of course, an anti-plug, don’t do it.

This is so late, because Matt is a boner.

Podcast: Aquarium Heists, Tupac the Guard Caiman, and Cat Interrogations

You know what time it is?  It’s time for ANTP.  Today, we’ve got animals guarding things, animals being stolen, and an animal breaking into jail.  Listen!

Also, we just hit 25,000 views on wordpress.  Thank you all so much for reading, and we hope to get another 25,000!

Podcast: Ball Brew, Python Challenge and The Circus … of Bribes

Animal News is providing you with some guidelines for hunting some snakes, taking money for testifying and of course, drinking testicular beer. All this and more, on ANIMAL NEWS: THE PODCAST, IN SPACCCCCCCCE!

Podcast: Peeing on Frogs, Bird Head Pulltabs, and Chicken Saviors

We’re talking about plagues, insane people, chickens yelling.  You know, the usual.

Podcast: Calling All Slug Experts, Virgin Births, and Droppin’ Possums from Buildings

Listen up!

Podcast: Denying Mermaids, Cee-Lo’s Cock…atoo, Lonesome George Isn’t Lonesome Any More

Rest In Peace, Lonesome George, may your journey be devoid of pesky tortoise chicks, full of god-fearing merpeople, and sprinkled with mangled feathers. Don’t worry because Chris’ friend’s obese cat will meet you in Animal Heaven shortly.

Sounds like a sadcast, but trust me it’s not.



Have an animal anecdote or shout out? Let us know and we will do it hard on the next codpast, people.

Podcast: Baby Rhinos, Baby-making Whales and Ugliest Dog Fraud

Aren’t you tired of the same dog breed monopolizing the competition? What would Benji think? Also, do humpback whales have any shame? Listen and contemplate your own thoughtful answers.

Podcast: Spider Snow, Dogs in Snow, and That Was Almost An Hour?

We’re talking about Microraptors, Spider silk that looks like snow, and the Iditarod today.  Listen, won’t you.

At the end, we have Jake’s This Week in Animal History!